Automobiles Week: Burning Questions for Bob

We’ve got some burning questions for Bob about his voitures and his ever-growing collection of wheeled paraphernalia. And really, who better to ask than a man who currently owns far more vehicles than he has bottoms? Let’s get into it.

Q: If you could plan your move to France again, what would you do differently with the wheeled stuff?

Bob: “No hesitation – I’d have worked harder to get a COC (Certificate of Conformity) for the trailer we used to bring everything across from the UK.”

Six years on, folks, and that trailer is still sitting in our garden acting as a glorified ornament.

Here’s the deal: In France, any trailer with a PTAC (Poids Total Autorisé en Charge—total loaded weight) over 500kg has to be registered completely independently, just like a car. That means it needs its very own Carte Grise (registration document), its own unique number plates, separate insurance, and a Contrôle Technique. Ours currently has absolutely none of that.

Our first monumental hurdle is getting that elusive Certificate of Conformity, which has been six years of pure, head-banging frustration. After that comes the dreaded DREAL inspection (Direction Régionale de l'Environnement, de l'Aménagement et du Logement). Sounds incredibly official? It is. Sounds difficult? Oh, it’s much worse.

I can’t even make a proper joke about it—just the thought of the DREAL process makes me shudder. Because let’s be real: I (Jen) will end up doing 100% of the administrative legwork, so Bob is going to have to bribe me with an ungodly amount of premium wine and cheese.

Jen's Top Tip: If your trailer has a PTAC under 500kg, you don't need a separate registration document! All you need to do is display a matching number plate to your towing car. Unless... you built the trailer yourself. And then? Yes, you guessed it—more DREAL. But that is a horror story for another day. Just shout in the comments if you want me to write it!

Q: What has surprised you most about vehicle ownership in France?

Bob: "Loads. But here are two massive ones that caught me completely off guard."

1. The Axle Rule for Tyres 🛞

If one single tyre on an axle needs replacing (say you get an irreparable puncture), French law dictates that you are legally required to replace both tyres on that exact axle. No cheeky single-tyre swaps allowed here! They must have matching tread depths and specs.

2. Short VINs vs. The ANTS System 🖥️

Bob’s trusty Suzuki Bandit has an older, short VIN number, and it completely blew the mind of the automated ANTS vehicle registration portal. It flat-out refused to accept it. Credit where it's due, though—I managed to crack the code by padding the front of the VIN with a sequence of zeros until the system stopped throwing a tantrum.

But getting the actual COC for the bike was a whole separate saga. We had to leave the bike at a main Suzuki dealer for four entire weeks while they inspected every single nut, bolt, and washer to confirm it was 100% original. Only then would they grant the certificate.

The good news? The COC cost just under €200, and the actual four-week inspection was completely gratuit (free!). We'll take the small mercies where we can get them.

(Speaking of motorbikes, don't forget that the mandatory Contrôle Technique for Motos is now fully active! They last for 3 years, and we have gathered heaps of hands-on info on navigating it if anyone needs a breakdown).

Q: What about switching between left-hand drive (LHD) and right-hand drive (RHD)?

Bob: "I’ve got used to it now, though I do still occasionally reach for the gear stick with my right hand and find myself aggressively grabbing the door handle instead..."

Q: What’s your ultimate verdict on French roads?

Bob: "Honestly? Extremely impressed."

Down here around us in the Aude, there is an incredible amount of road resurfacing going on—it’s fast, highly efficient, and beautifully finished.

And those clever traffic lights that automatically turn red if you are speeding as you enter a village? Highly intuitive, if slightly annoying when you're caught out. In general, the road layouts feel great... right up until they don't, and then the roundabouts turn into a bit of a spaghetti junction.

Q: Is it true you love anything with an engine, especially if it makes a racket going round in circles?

Bob: "I absolutely cannot deny it."

The modest (and by modest, I mean completely excessive) Saab collection, plus a few other mechanical gems scattered around, might seem like total overkill to the average person. But Bob insists that if he had half a chance, he’d immediately add a couple of electric off-road bikes to the tally so we could go trail riding together through the gorgeous local vineyards.

Enjoyed this and want to know more?

If you are currently trying to navigate registering vehicles, importing trailers, or dealing with anything on wheels here in France—or you're just incredibly curious—let us know in the comments below! We are more than happy to dive into the gritty details for future posts.

Safe driving! — Jen x

Handy Official Resources:

• Check out the official French Government Trailer Registration Rules for weight thresholds and legalities.

• Ready to battle the system? Access the Official ANTS Vehicle Registration Portal to kickstart your French number plate journey.